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There’s an ache in my chest, a tightness

of all the emotions I haven’t been able to express.


For the longest while, I waited.


Dreams of darkened rooms

in the soul-house. I had no courage

to enter, nor to face.


A sea of emotional memories bopping up and down.

As they surface --

a wave crashes against my aching back.


Broken memories of screams and shouts, jaggered ruler

lying on the sewing machine,

pee-soiled sheets and dreams

of dirty cubicles, music sheets hammering down

the locked balcony, breaths being held

beneath the suffocating duvet.


A youthful helplessness, of options

I didn’t have and decisions

I couldn’t make.


Daydreams of another time…

of another place.

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