There’s an ache in my chest, a tightness
of all the emotions I haven’t been able to express.
For the longest while, I waited.
Dreams of darkened rooms
in the soul-house. I had no courage
to enter, nor to face.
A sea of emotional memories bopping up and down.
As they surface --
a wave crashes against my aching back.
Broken memories of screams and shouts, jaggered ruler
lying on the sewing machine,
pee-soiled sheets and dreams
of dirty cubicles, music sheets hammering down
the locked balcony, breaths being held
beneath the suffocating duvet.
A youthful helplessness, of options
I didn’t have and decisions
I couldn’t make.
Daydreams of another time…
of another place.